The Courage to Speak with Compassion

March 20, 2025•7 min read

“Courage is grace under pressure.” — Ernest Hemingway

Summary:

✍️ Have you ever hesitated to speak your truth for fear of causing conflict or being accused of hate? You’re not alone. In today’s divided world, sharing deeply held beliefs can feel risky. But as followers of Christ, we’re called not only to be peacemakers but also to courageously proclaim our values. In this post, discover how practicing “compassionate courage” can empower you to confidently stand firm in your beliefs while extending empathy and love—even during difficult conversations.

🗣️ The Incident

In today’s polarized world, hate seems inevitable—especially when we dare to speak openly about our deepest beliefs.

In a recent post I made to social media announcing my excitement to share stories of America’s divine destiny and purpose, a childhood church friend of mine slid into my DM’s with what at first seemed a simple question.

My first inclination was not to respond.

We hold dramatically different views socially, politically, and religiously—he identifies as a hard-left liberal who came out as gay and now identifies as a woman, while I remain a traditional Christian conservative.

I do not enjoy conflict, and I already knew the chances of a productive conversation with my old friend were next to none, particularly considering he spent most of the afternoon online picking fights with my conservative family members.

But then again, the question was innocent enough… Why not give a sincere and respectful answer?

So I did.

To his credit, my friend’s response was civil, although not without some strong language condemning my views.

Resisting the urge to retort in kind, I instead thanked him for sharing, expressed my desire not to argue, and stated plainly that nothing either of us could say to the other would be likely to prompt a productive conversation… and that is ok!

His response was simple: “As long as you aren’t using your beliefs to fuel hate, I don’t care (respectfully).”

Whew. I’d managed to respond in a way that left no opening for an attack. I felt good about the peaceful exchange of ideas we had shared. Relieved, I typed out a quick “I will do my best 🫡”

Whoops.

Seeing his opening, my friend responded with a sarcastic “I don’t think that’s something you have to ‘try your best’ on haha. But ok”

I liked his message and that was the end.

🤔 But his comment left me thinking.

Why did I feel the need to qualify my commitment not to spread hate by saying “I will do my best” rather than simply saying “will do”? Though imperfect, I’m a person who generally subscribes to the Lord's teachings to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27), so why not simply agree not to spread hate with my beliefs?

The answer is simple: I cannot promise my friend not to spread “hate” because he hates my values. To promise him not to spread “hate” would be to promise not to speak the truth. To claim marriage is between a man and a woman, to affirm gender is eternal, to stand against abortion, to reject racial bigotry, and to call Americans to remember the God who inspired the constitution of our nation–all of these things would constitute HATE in his mind.

Reflecting on this exchange, I realized a deeper challenge we face as people of faith: how can we engage authentically in meaningful dialogue without sacrificing our values or inciting conflict?

📖 The scriptures hold the answer.

In the New Testament, the Lord provides perfect examples of both speaking courageously and choosing strategic silence. Throughout His ministry, Christ boldly proclaimed truth—even when His teachings were unpopular or led to conflict. He fearlessly challenged hypocrisy, called sinners to repentance, and openly declared His divine purpose (see Matthew 23:13-33, John 8:31-32). Yet, at His final trial before the Pharisees and Roman authorities, Jesus exemplified purposeful silence, declining to defend Himself against false accusations (Matthew 27:12-14). Clearly, there is divine wisdom both in boldly speaking and carefully remaining silent.

Today, many believers mistakenly assume the most “Christian” response to controversy is always silence. While silence can indeed be wise, there are crucial moments when, like Christ and His apostles, we must courageously proclaim our convictions—even when doing so risks misunderstanding or hostility. Prophets and disciples throughout scripture consistently faced opposition for standing firm: Isaiah was martyred for preaching repentance (traditionally referenced in Hebrews 11:37); Paul endured violent persecution for sharing Christ’s message in Lystra (Acts 14:19-20); and the Savior Himself was crucified for unwaveringly testifying of His identity (John 19:16-18).

To follow Christ authentically, we must discern carefully when to remain quiet and when to courageously speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). True Christianity requires compassionate courage—a commitment to speak boldly when truth must be defended, tempered always by humility, wisdom, and genuine love for others.

🏛️ Here are 5 principles of compassionate courage that you can try to apply next time you are faced by contentious discussion:

Keep a cool head
Anger, hostility, contention—none of these emotions will ever persuade or positively influence another. If someone challenges your deeply held beliefs, it’s natural to feel defensive, but responding in anger will only deepen divisions. Instead, pause for a moment. Breathe. Practice calmly listening, even when the other person is upset. By choosing patience and composure, your example might transform a potential argument into a genuine, healthy dialogue.
Practice empathy
Most people aren’t malicious in intent—even those we deeply disagree with. Imagine being in their shoes for a moment. Perhaps their beliefs come from personal struggles or genuine misunderstandings, and your empathetic approach could open doors for understanding. By actively demonstrating empathy, you allow space for common ground to emerge, sometimes in places you least expect it.
Don’t Equivocate
This is often where Christians struggle most. Keeping calm and practicing empathy can come naturally, but standing firm in your beliefs in the face of opposition takes courage. Imagine someone pressuring you to agree with a viewpoint that conflicts with your core values in order to “keep the peace.” While it might seem easier to nod along, doing so not only compromises your integrity but also deprives others of a valuable perspective. Your unwavering stance might be exactly what someone needs to reconsider their own assumptions. Remember, there are plenty of voices promoting worldly principles—your voice is essential in proclaiming the truths you know and cherish.
Bear Testimony
Every logical argument has a logical counter-argument, but no one can genuinely refute your sincere personal witness. Imagine a discussion about a contentious moral issue, such as abortion or marriage. While debates rage on, your heartfelt, authentic testimony of personal belief can cut through tension because it is rooted in your personal conviction. Don’t hesitate to respectfully share why you believe what you believe. Even if others disagree, genuine testimonies often inspire respect and reflection rather than defensiveness.
Know When to Move On
There will inevitably be times when the best action is simply to graciously step away from an unproductive conversation. When a conversation becomes heated or repetitive, with neither party willing to yield, continuing the discussion may lead only to increased frustration or resentment. Learn to recognize these moments. Excuse yourself kindly, reaffirming your respect for the other person despite your disagreement. With practice, you’ll become adept at recognizing the boundary between fruitful dialogue and futile arguments, ultimately preserving both peace and relationships.

💭 Some final thoughts

When people of faith practice compassionate courage, we not only honor our own beliefs but also build bridges of understanding—even across seemingly impossible divides. While we may never fully avoid offense or misinterpretation, approaching challenging conversations with compassion ensures we act from love rather than fear. When we do our best, it truly is enough.

Additional Readings:

Peacemakers Needed by Russel M. Nelson

Loving Others and Living with Differences by Dallin H. Oaks